Hey girl, I see you.
I don’t know about you, but I feel fucking exhausted. Not the ‘I need to take a siesta this afternoon’ kind of exhausted, but like I feel run the fuck over! I caught a glimpse of myself in my computer screen and no joke, I kind of scared myself. My hair is piled on top of my head (like every other day) but not in a cute, messy bun, you might see on Pinterest kind of way. I’m talking like the frizzy, oily, lopsided, it’s been a couple (maybe more) days since I showered kind of way. There are these lovely dark circles under my eyes that reveal my lack of sleep and all around self-care. And did I mention the back pain? My right hip constantly aches from carrying around my beautiful toddler all day. I know I should be working out more, trying different yoga poses to help stretch and alleviate the pain, but good lord, I am so. freaking. tired.
When I saw myself, it made me step back and take pause. I feel as though I know who that girl is, she looks really familiar, but also like a complete stranger. The image I’m seeing in the computer screen doesn’t match how I feel on the inside. I’m not talking about the tired part. I’m talking about how I feel as though I am still 22. I don’t feel mentally older. Although, the dark circles under my eyes and the exhaustion say otherwise. I know that there has been a shift in me. I’ve become wiser over the last few years, I have more patience when it comes to myself and less when it comes to others. The things I want in life are changing and I am so grateful for that. But, still, I feel the denial about the image I see. The skin becoming softer on my body, the shiny, silvery hairs that pop up here and there.
If this all sounds familiar, then I have a question for you.
What if we could close the gap between the image staring back at us and the youth we still feel? I’m talking actually giving that tired girl a chance. She’s still you. She’s still got spunk and spark. And if I’m being really honest? She has more now than ever because she’s wiser. Because her give-a-shit is a little more broken than the day before. She’s got a fight in her that you’re just now starting to see and understand.
So, next time I (and hopefully you) see that messy-haired, back aching girl look at you, stand up a little taller, lean into her wisdom and give her a nod of approval. Like, “I see you. I really see you.”
Because she’s a badass.
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